Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
