"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
