Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
