yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
