I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
