So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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