You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
