Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize