Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
