who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize