i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
