Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
