Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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