shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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