Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
