she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
COCAINE IS GR8
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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