i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
