you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
