low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
