It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
