We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
