The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
