my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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