did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
