If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
