Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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