just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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