My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
