I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
