Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
