I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
are you so shy because you have an std?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
