I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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