I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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