found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
