i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
