i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
tell me about the eggs
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
