i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
