I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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