He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
