so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
