Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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