That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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