it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i dont even know how to be here
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
