What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
