Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Even my vagina gasped.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
