you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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