i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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