8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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