I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
