Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
