I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
