kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
