You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize