I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just googled if crying burns calories
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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