Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Houston, we have a squirter
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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