we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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