Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
