Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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