Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
