Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
