he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
