i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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