Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
